Proxemics is the study of how physical closeness affects our feelings and emotions.

Being physically close to another person can feel pleasing and soothing or make you
uncomfortable and stressed, depending on the situation.

If we are old friends or I am attracted to you, getting physically closer may make us feel emotionally more intimate. It builds a more trusting relationship.

Most people are more apt to share their thoughts with people who empathize with
their situation. Proxemics may be used to present an understanding demeanor. If the person is
comfortable with you getting physically close to them, move in! They are more likely to open up communications with you. Be sure it is okay with them for you to get close before you move in on them, or it might backfire!

On the other hand, if you are sitting in my office in the Police Department and I am
asking you questions about a crime, you may become stressed if I start getting closer to you.
Especially if you committed the crime! Stress inhibits the ability to control body language.
Gestures and movements tend to become more genuine and reliable.

Stress makes it more challenging to tell a lie and get away with it!

A decent liar will look you in the eyes and try to deceive you. Getting close increases
stress. As stress increases, that steady gaze will often falter, and the person will look away for a second. As the questioning becomes more direct and you move in even closer, they may not be able to look at you at all.

These techniques work in your daily communications like they do in police work. Pay
attention to the other person, utilize the basics of Proxemics, and become a better
communicator!

Jim Leach is the author of “You Can Tell ME, Effective Interviewing Made Simple,” and it
is available at booksbyleach.com